Stranded

When I hear the term stranded I picture someone stuck out in the middle of nowhere, car broke down, in a desperate state of mind.  Well, I too have been stranded recently.......but not because my car broke down. 

I think most people have to pee first thing when they get up in the morning right?  Well, I do anyway.  And this morning was just like every other.  Only when I went to grab for the T.P, there was NONE!!  My head whipped over to the shelf where I store the backup rolls and there was NONE!!  For me this causes a sensation similar to the feeling of the pilot saying "Put on your oxygen mask and put your head between your knees ladies and gentlemen, it's going to be a bumpy landing." 

I quickly racked my brain because I knew that I had known we were getting low.  I definitely remembered adding it to the grocery list and I also remembered grabbing it off the shelf when I bought groceries last night.  So where was it now?  Still in the truck?  No, we brought all the groceries in.  Did I get distracted by the cute cart boy who took my cart in the parking lot and forget to grab it off the bottom of the cart?  No, well, yes I was distracted but I'm sure the cart was empty when I handed it over.  Conclusion, the checker had failed to put it back in the cart after she scanned it.  I scrolled through my options for punishment of this offense including mooning her, wrapping her car in toilet paper and going through her line with every single package of toilet paper off the shelf, but none of these seemed to fit the crime so I decided I would just take my receipt back to the store and get my toilet paper. 

Now it was game time and a decision had to be made.  Shower curtain or the waddle of shame over to the Kleenex box.  Damn that woman for forcing me into this position!!  Literally!!  Don't worry mom, I voted out the shower curtain and instead made like a penguin.  And really, if I had that much shame, would I have blogged about it?  Nope.  No shame in my game folks.