Thursday, April 22, 2010

Kids Have All the Answers

My sister has taken to finding creative ways to remind me that I haven't blogged lately. This morning she mailed me a link to an absolutely hilarious blog ( that made me feel guilty for not blogging myself. Soooooo, here I gooooo.

I have decided that some of life's most interesting questions aren't philosophical, they're child-initiated. In the course of any given day my sons will ask me the usual things like, "Why is the sky blue?" or "Would our heads blow up in space if we didn't have a spacesuit on?" Then there are the days with questions that will be forever stamped upon my brain preventing any possibility of forgetting them. For example, the other night Austin asked me, "Mom, do you know how you can tell if a fart is really going to stink?" Not paying full attention (mistake #1), I took the bait.....,"hmmmm, how is that son?" Providing him with the necessary launching pad for sharing his most recent hypothesis, he quickly lept right in. "Welllll, if you have to work really hard to get it'll be stinky for sure. But if it just sort of slips out (complete with very smooth hand gestures), you probably won't smell it at all!" And here comes mistake #2. "How did you come to this conclusion son?" (hereby fully vesting myself in this conversation). "Oh, the guys (his 7-year-old buddies) and I were talking about it at recess.

This prompted one of my famous "visions." I could so easily picture my child standing around, just like in a scene from some mobster movie, with his pals and a thick New Jersey accent. The conversation would go something like this:

Bennie: So Sal, I been thinkin'.....
Sal: Yeah Bennie, whas that?
Bennie: You know how Joey's always stinkin' it up?
Sal: Sure, sure.
Bennie: Well I bet he could warn us if he wanted to.
Joey: How'd I do that?
Bennie: I can't tell you here - people are listening.....Fuhgedaboutit!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

"The Best Day Ever"

Some days really stink....and then there are days that totally rock!! This day rocked more than most lately. It started out with sleeping in and snuggling my husband. Then a little work, not too much, just a little. And then Pizza Hut with Beezy, some grocery shopping with Noah and a fabulous afternoon nap. I was able to pay all the bills and still put money in savings. I took my first Jazzercise class tonight with my friend Kayla and LOVED it. I have untapped potential in the rhythm department, that's for sure. Then I got home, had a deeeelicious dark chocolate Jello-O pudding cup and watched a new episode of Bones. Finally, I logged in all of my food and I came in under my calorie limit!! On Spongebob Squarepants he sings a song called, "The Best Day Ever" and that is definitely an accurate description of today. Most of the time, it really is about the little things. :)

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Scientific Research

I once read that the government gave a grant to some scientists to study the amount of methane gas produced by a cow's butt and the effect it had on the atmosphere. Can you believe that!? Large sums of money given to scientists just to study a cow's rear end! Well, it occurred to me that my children would probably qualify for one of those grants. Here are my proposed areas of study:

1. The effect of constant light switch flipping on an electric bill (which my husband also reports feels like being in a disco, so perhaps there's a two-fold study there....)
2. The effects of a bath tub full of water on a bathroom floor.
3. How long it takes a dog to gain weight by feeding it a full box of cereal off the kitchen floor.
4. How truly dirty is a toilet if you flush it 100 times consecutively?
5. Can carpet be worn off stairs by sliding down them on your butt or stomach?

Really, aren't these more noble areas of interest? Wouldn't the world be better served by reaching a better understanding of what makes children tick? Or would that be as much a waste of money as studying a cow's butt? Ahhhh, the things that keep you awake at night.....