"Not Really That Satisfying"

This past Thanksgiving weekend my family and I joined several of our friends for a sledding expedition. We went to this HUGE sledding hill and observed several wild and crazy teenagers careening out of control and then wiping out spectacularly at the bottom. Of course my children were quite excited to take their turn at all this fun and even trudged up this mountain without complaining. I accompanied them to the top expecting them to change their minds once they saw it from a different angle (lord knows I had my doubts about the sanity of all those zipping towards the bottom). Certainly they could foresee the same broken bones, back injuries and miscellaneous other aches and pains that I did? AS IF!! After observing several people ahead of them rocket towards the bottom, my two did what appeared to be some kind of cliff diving maneuver and threw themselves down this hill at full speed, otter-style, without a sled! I had visions of Chevy Chase in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation when he greases up his sled and goes for miles, finally ending up in the Walmart parking lot.

I briefly heard my mother say "Just because everyone is jumping off a bridge, doesn't mean you have to do it too." Then I threw myself down the hill, otter-style. Fortunately, this otter has plenty of padding and landed at the bottom uninjured.

When we had all gathered at the bottom I asked the boys what they thought of the sledding hill. Connor said it was "pretty cool." Austin, ever the enthusiast of the family, said, "I really didn't find it that satisfying." Somehow, this didn't stop him from trekking up that hill and careening down again and again.

"Is Santa Like God?"

"Sliding through the snow, in a big old Expedition, o'er the drifts we go....screaming all the way - ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Tis the season my friends - whether you like it or not! And as the commercialism builds, so does the excitement in my house. Recently I've heard statements such as these: "Is Santa like God?" and (my favorite), "all you need to get gifts is a tree and decorations." I've also enjoyed several renditions of Jingle Bells Batman Smells and other little dirty ditties thoughtfully taught by the other children at school.

Whenever Dustin starts a fire in the fireplace I remind him to burn the flyers first before the kids can get a look at all the toys. Chain stores are EVIL this time of year. Don't these people have children? Don't they realize the havoc they wreak in parents' lives? Don't they know that a lot of the family drama at the holidays comes after hearing "and I want that, and that, and that, and one of those...." about 60 million times!!!!

I could go on and on, and eventually I will, but for now I'll wrap it up and get to work so I can afford "that, and that, and one of those!"

Tiptoeing Through the Snow

Here I am, trying to be a better (more consistent) blogger. Of course it's easier when trapped inside by freezing temperatures and slippery conditions (and I'm procrastinating doing my housework and my "real job"). Anywhoooooo......

I have a feeling that this winter will be harder on Beanie than the rest of us. Luckily, we humans don't have to squat in the snow. Each morning I chuckle as I take "the girls" out to check their "pee-mail" and Beanie tries in vain to find a spot that is not covered in snow. She tiptoes through the snow, lifting each paw high in the air, as if she is too good to get her mitts cold and wet. After about 5 minutes of searching the yard she bites the bullet and squats in the snow. Without fail there is usually a look of shock, mixed with disgust, on her face as her butt touches the snow. Beanie has been subjected to a lot in her years with us (being mauled by babies, being dressed up, moving over and over), but I'm fairly certain if she could speak she would say there is nothing worse than sticking your pooty-poo into the snow!

Ahhh, something new to say at the table this Thanksgiving when we go around and tell what we're thankful for.....I don't have to pee in the snow! :)-

Winter: A Beautiful Pain in the Butt

When we woke up this morning it was as if Mother Nature was announcing "Tah-Dah!" A beautiful 6 inches of snow covered everything. Apparently, the snow normally flies around the beginning of October, but this year it decided to hold off a little longer. And that concludes the "I'm incredibly excited about the snow" portion of this post.

The boys of course were ecstatic and immediately started digging out snow pants, boots, etc. I had visions of the 20 minutes on...."I have to pee"....2 seconds off drill, although that was not the case this morning. They did manage to get everything on by themselves (30 minutes early) and then get too hot about 5 minutes before we were to leave for the bus and stripped everything back off. Soooo, even though we had planned to leave on time, we didn't. And it seems that no matter how organized I am each year (box by the door for hats, mittens, scarves, etc), we will still spend every morning racing around with the same dialogue, which goes something like this:

Mom: Where is your hat?
Connor: I don't know.
Mom: Why isn't it in the box?
Connor: What box?
Mom: The box by the door that holds all your cold weather stuff!
Connor: Oh, that box.
Mom: So, where is your hat and your gloves?
Connor: I don't know!
Mom: Look for them!
Connor: I need help!
Mom: Austin, help your brother.
Austin: Why do I have too?
Mom: Because Noah is too small, I'm too busy and Santa Claus isn't here! That's why!

10 minutes later.....

Mom: Did you guys find all your stuff?
Austin: What stuff?
Mom: Your hat, mittens, coats, boots......
Austin: Oh, that stuff. Yeah, it's in the box.
Mom: Why aren't you wearing it?
Austin: You didn't tell us it was time to go.
Mom: For the love of God, go get your stuff on!
Austin: Jeez mom, why do you get so cranky in the morning?

And that concludes the "winter makes moms more crazy than usual" portion of the post!