Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Little Treasures

Previously I have written about losing things, namely my mind, my sanity, my privacy, etc., etc. This post however is different! Recently I have begun finding things, what I like to think of as little treaures. Today it was a small wooden train in the dryer (making an alarming amount of noise I might add). The other day it was an action figure in the dishwasher and a few days before that it was a bath toy in the refrigerator. Of course I could stand around and ponder how these little treasures miraculously appear in strange places, but that would be engaging in my new hobby.....procrastination....and I just don't have time! I once read that if you find a turtle on top of a fence post, all you need to know is that it had help getting there. So true, so true. Perhaps these are just small tokens of affection from my son, (17-months old a few days ago!) who thinks I might need a reminder of all he is able to accomplish now. How thoughtful of him. :)

Wednesday, February 3, 2010


It is again award season in Hollywood and I'm constantly hearing about the Grammy's, the Tony's, the Oscars, the SAG awards, so on and so forth. Why, I ask, are there no WMA's? What is this fabulous award you ask? Well let me tell you! It's the Wife and Mother Awards! This brilliant idea came to me just last night as I was applauded by my family for serving a dinner that everybody liked (practically unheard of at our house, which is why I felt I was receiving an award).

I had a vision of stepping onstage to accept my trophy (a miniature golden vacuum cleaner of course!), and with tears in my eyes, making my acceptance speech:

"I would just like to thank all of the little people, literally, the little people, for allowing me to make dinner for you every night! Without you, I would have no purpose. It is such a privilege and honor to slave over a hot stove for each of you and finally stumble across a recipe that you deem worthy of repeating. And to my husband, what can I say? are the light in my refrigerator, without you....all would be dark....Thank you, thank you very much!"

As I'm walking back down the red carpet the reporters are asking me about what I'm wearing (sweats and t-shirt by Target, shoes by Walmart), my hairstyle (I call it fashionably dissheveled, ala Meg Ryan) and my date (no date, they're all in front of the TV).

Although it is unlikely this award will ever come into existence, just thinking about it does make it a little easier to compete with Martha Stewart and Rachel Ray every day...... :)

Monday, February 1, 2010

Pack Mentality

As the mother of 3 boys and only female resident of our house I have known that this day was coming. I know that I will gamely participate in and/or tolerate all sorts of male rituals from bodily noises to hunting and excessive sports exposure. On Friday I experienced my first.....Boy Scouts pack meeting, which turned out to be nothing like I expected. There were so many opportunities for humor in that gym that I may just go back next time voluntarily!

It was such a relief to see that my children are VERY normal when placed up against a slice of society. There were plenty of other children there with their clothes tucked in oddly (into boots, underwear, etc.), hair not combed and holes in their jeans. There were also children that stammered, spoke excessively about nothing and displayed a serious need for corporal punishment.

All of this was overseen by someone I can only describe as "The General." This intimidating man has to have served a long stint in the military, my guess would be the marines. He was bald, uniform incredibly crisp and he barked like a drill sargent. I kept expecting him to yell, "Sit down and shut up you little maggots!" However, in his defense, he was great with the kids! I think there might actually be a potential Santa Claus hiding under that Boy Scout uniform.

All in all, my husband and I shared many glances that conveyed, "can you believe that?" and afterwards decided to treat our kids to Dairy Queen because we had discovered that a pack meeting is a lot like the county fair and as Jeff Foxworthy said, "we're dang near royalty!"