Friday, March 26, 2010

Funny Body Part Names

I once read that every family develops it's own language. After realizing that our family does not call a single body part by it's correct anatomical name, I would have to agree. The following is a short list of what we call things:
1. Head = Melon
2. Forehead = Foremelon
3. Feet = Putties
4. Stomach = Buddha
5. Boy parts = peepers

Funny story about that last one. My sister coached Austin and Connor in a gymnastics class a few years back. With the whole class lined up and supposed to be watching her for direction, she stated, "Now everyone open your peepers..." Silly Aunt Erin, what a crazy thing to say! Austin and Connor stood up and started to pull down their shorts!

Occasionally I wonder if we should start teaching them the proper names, but then I realize that would cut down on a large majority of the funny stories I have to tell my family. :)

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

"That is NOT what we use that for!"

Wooo Hoooo! A bonus post this week - consider it my gift to you. Actually, I was just sitting here (yes, rather than working) and was chuckling about dual conversations held over the phone between my sister and I. It used to be I was the only one of us that had kids and my sister would often hear things like, "Your brother is not a punching bag!" and "So help me God, if you do that one more time!" while we were talking on the phone. She was very patient and would often laugh at how I could yell at children and have a civil phone conversation at the same time. Now she has kids. And now I get to laugh. The other day we were talking and she said, "Don't stick that noodle there!" and "what did I say about crayons!" Some other favorites that come to mind are, "The toilet is NOT a swimming pool!" "For the love of God, I just cleaned that!" We used to roll our eyes at our mother who could be yelling like a banshee one moment and then answer the phone and be as sweet as pie the next, "Get to your room before I beat you until your legs fall off!......" (ring, ring......) "Well hello, of course I'll bake a cake, no problem......"

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

An Ode to Chocolate

On any given day I can find a really good reason why I need chocolate. The dog made a mess, the kids made a mess, my life is a mess! I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm apathetic! I worked out, I didn't work out, I thought about working out! It's movie night, it's Arbor Day, it's Tuesday! The list goes on and on (indefinitely).

But seriously, I'm fairly certain that if all the world leaders sat down together in the Hershey's Factory and put their brilliant minds to it, they could solve the world's problems with chocolate.

Chocolate provides all the things a woman needs in life. It is rich, it is silent and there is an endless variety of things you can do with it. My friend Beezy and I have a running joke about all the things we would like to do with chocolate. Basically we start out by saying we'd like an apple (for example), but only if it's dipped in chocolate, rolled in chocolate, fried in chocolate and covered in chocolate sprinkles. Then the other person has to come back with an even better way to cover that apple in chocolate, like covered in chocolate drizzle and smothered in chocolate. It can go on for a very long time and can be exceptionally entertaining.

But I digress. I could give the Illiad and the Odyssey a run for their money when it comes to talking about chocolate. Suffice it to say, although you don't really need a reason to eat chocolate (or bathe in it), if you feel that you do you can call me and I will gladly help you out.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Different Day....Same Stuff!

Due to extreme pressure applied to me by my sister, I am blogging. Sadly, it has been pretty low on my priority list lately (in fact it fell off the bottom about 2 weeks ago....) At any rate, just a quick update on things in the land of Smiff.

It's still snowing in Alaska, a lot.
The kids are still sick, a lot.
The laundry is still mating in unseen corners of my home.
The dishes are staging a coup in the kitchen.

We did recently buy some furniture, a very nice dresser and nightstands for our bedroom. The boxes we were using as nightstands were sad to leave, but we weren't sad to see them go. We're thinking of buying a couch next as everyone is sick of fighting over the bean bag chairs. Smile on my friends!