Thursday, November 29, 2012

Suffering from Adulthood

I'm pretty sure Adulthood is a disease.  Once you're afflicted there is no cure and the symptoms are painfully obvious.  Small children recognize you as an authority figure the minute you open your mouth and larger children run from you because they know you're going to tell them whatever they're doing is unsafe.  The only treatment is to not take yourself too seriously and laugh at how you've turned into the very people you swore you would never become.......YOUR PARENTS!!

Top 10 Ways You Know You're Finally An Adult:

10. You roll your eyes at your children when they go all "drama queen" on you and say things like, "If you had any idea....." or "When I was a kid....."
9.  You read the obituaries.....and often know the people who died.
8.  You vote in each presedential election and actually care who wins.
7.  Whenever someone tells you they're taking a family vacation you think about how much it will cost instead of how fun it will be.
6.  You no longer drive like a maniac and yell at the people who do.
5.  You celebrate your coupon savings at the grocery store like you just won the Miss America Pagent.
4.  You happily trade nights out "whooping it up" for nights in drinking wine and "getting crafty" with your girlfriends.
3.  You often comment that the rating system for movies has deteriorated beyond redemption ("Really!?! Seriously!?! They can actually put that in a Disney movie now?? How is this movie rated PG-13?? They call THIS trash a FAMILY MOVIE??!!).
2.  You turn the music in your car down instead of up.

And Finally:

1.  You eat healthy serial (Wheat Chex...GASP!) without a bunch of sugar on it (double GASP!!) and LIKE IT!! (faint).

P.S. You also use words like "afflicted" and "redemption".......*sigh*.

1 comment:

  1. FYI: I think you mean "cereal" not "serial" as in "serial killer" :)
    I'm trying to figure out how many of these your father fits into...I believe thats none. Conclusion: he hasn't been inflicted with Adulthood yet.