Just A Sliver

I have never understood those parents who let their children sleep with them until they're practically teenagers.  I know better than to judge, but as I lay there last night with a small creature draped across my face I had to wonder at how they maintain any sanity whatsoever.  My husband and I have a king size bed.....and I love it.  Most nights I can sprawl around like a lizard sunning on a rock.  Of course, then there are the nights where the dog is on my feet....or my husband has taken up more than his fair share of room.  And lets not forget the nights that one of the smallish creatures (1) had a nightmare (2) couldn't fall asleep (3) didn't feel good, etc., etc., etc. and crawl in for a snuggle.  P.S. I love snuggling with my babies.

Last night poor little Noah was coughing.  For the record, he's been attempting to convince us co-sleeping is a good idea for a few months now (sometimes he's more successful than others depending on how tired we are).  So I pulled him into bed and he snuggled his little butt right up to me.  I'm pretty sure I looked at the clock at least every 15 minutes or so for several hours.  At one point, as I was laying on a small sliver of my side of the bed I thought, "this is ridiculous, he weighs 25 pounds and he's taking up 75% of the bed!  And he didn't even pay for any of it!"  So I shoved him over towards his dad.  He slept there for awhile before he got restless and started to crawl all over his dad, who by the way does not tolerate interruption of his sleep very well.  This went on for about 10 minutes or so before dad said, "that's it....back to your bed." He went back to sleep in his bed.....for about 30 minutes.  Needless to say, I didn't have too much trouble getting up and going to the gym this morning and I won't have too much trouble taking a nap later when Noah does either!

High Rollers

I gave in tonight and played Monopoly "the adult version" (as they call it) with Austin and Connor.  I was dreading it, but it ended up being a lot of fun.  They've gotten a lot better at counting money and remembering the rules, so we actually did some wheeling and dealing!  I had to laugh though as Austin could not remember how to say Vermont Ave. and kept calling it Vermin Ave.  They also took great pride in counting their money and were very excited to get change back.  So if one of them had to pay, say $20 in rent, he would give his brother a $20 and a $10 so he'd get the $10 back.  As I observed their unbelievable delight in playing "an adult game" I thought of all the things they were actually learning from it.  Obviously, math skills.  Then there was the moment when Austin wanted to buy Park Place but didn't have enough money.  He was quite upset over this fact, but stated, "I guess that's how it works in the real world, huh mom?" What a great lesson - if you can't pay for it, you don't get it.  He quickly recovered and managed to wipe the floor with us as the wicked land baron of the game.  All in all, it was an hour of fun that I'm glad I made time for.  A lesson was learned by mom as well.

Lucky Strikes Again!

Bet you're wondering why I haven't blogged in a month and a half huh? Welllllll, even if you haven't been wondering I'll tell you.....I took a break (gasp!)!. And I've been on vacation (double gasp!)! At any rate....I thought of something funny to write about the other day and I have now harnessed the ambition to actually sit down and do it.

Lucky is my mom's cat....that think's he's a person.....with more personality than most people I know. Among his many "quirks" is a serious hair tie fetish and a need to sleep on my mom's face. In addition, Lucky has poo bear. That's right, not Pooh Bear, poo bear. Apparently when he was a kitten my mom put this little red teddy bear in the box with Lucky and he of course pooped on it. After a thorough washing, Lucky and poo bear became best buds. Now we find poo bear all over the house. The other night he was skinny dipping in the toilet and I almost peed on him. Occasionally he makes it into the dog water dish but that's only if he feels like bathing in plain sight (or when Lucky is trying to irritate Sandy, the dog). Poo bear is well-traveled and obviously very forgiving.

Until next time my friends!!

You Can Visit Me

We've started giving Austin and Connor an allowance for completing their chores without whining or arguing. Of course in the interest of promoting parenting everywhere, we have outlined for them all the lessons to be learned including goal setting, saving and finding things that cost less than the amount they have. Little did I realize that they've been learning other important lessons as well!

Today was their day to go pick out something with the 50% of their allowance that they get to spend each week. Of course all the way out the store they were begging to open it. I told them they had to wait until we left the store and that they couldn't leave any of the packaging on the ground, to which Austin responded, "because that's littering, right mom?" and of course I confirmed his suspicion. Then Connor piped up with, "and you can go to jail for that, right mom?" Although I knew it was a teeny-tiny white lie, I again said, "yup, you sure can!" Thinking that was the end of it I was caught off guard when a moment later Austin said, "don't worry mom, you can visit me in jail!"

Stinkin' Summer "Vacation"!

When I was a kid I looked forward to summer vacation for 9 months. Now that I'm a mom, I dread summer vacation for 9 months. Let's face it, 9 months just isn't enough time to mentally prepare yourself for the birth of a child, let alone 3 solid months of "quality time" with your children!

As my husband left the house this morning he was actually chuckling. I heard definite sarcasm in his voice when he said, "and have a GOOD day!" The fact that I was clinging to his leg pleading, "please don't leave me alone with them, please, please please! You know they'll eat me alive! They're practically pirhanas, I don't stand a chance!" seemed to have no effect on him whatsoever. Rotten bastard. Very rarely do I envy his 40-hour work week, having to deal with all the office politics and people (I get to work in my pajamas, so there!), but today I was a particularly nasty shade of green.

I suppose I need to put my big girl panties on and just deal with it. Good thing that wearing my big girl panties also entitles me to buying signifcant amounts of alcohol. Maybe this summer won't be so bad after all........

The Cookie Dough Incident

For those of you who know me, I have always been working on losing a few pounds (that's code for 50+ pounds). After I had the twins I lost almost 60 pounds. And after having Noah I waited about a year, but once again am back at it. I've been committed and dedicated to my quest since January. I joined the gym, I've seriously modified my diet.....I GAVE UP MY MOCHAS! I've tried edamame, red peppers, spinach and feta. I KNOW WHAT VEGGIE-LOADING IS!! and I like it (gasp!) And (golf clap anyone?) I'm down 11 pounds. I have sweated, substituted and de-sugared like nobody's business for every ounce of those 11 pounds.

Yesterday I had a weak moment. I kept trying to think of something, anything! that sounded appealing that was even remotely healthy. All I wanted was cookie dough. So I made the cookie dough (Erin, I know what you're thinking, please don't cry.....). I ate some, then I ate a little more. Then I ate a healthy dinner.

Then I sat down to watch Biggest Loser and I ate a little more while I was watching. I know, I know, the irony right? But then I went to bed and forgot about it. Rather than sticking my face in that bowl and inhaling the whole bowl like a dog who hasn't been fed in days, I ate a little bit each time and went to bed satisfied (that's kind of a white lie, I wanted more but was finally able to say NO! I WILL NOT EAT YOU COOKIE DOUGH, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU BEG!!)

And then I got up and went to the gym this morning, ate a healthy breakfast and lunch and settled in to start on pound #12. Look out Tyra, Cindy and Heidi, here comes Jujee!! All 5' of me in a fun-sized package! Woot! Woot!

Kids Have All the Answers

My sister has taken to finding creative ways to remind me that I haven't blogged lately. This morning she mailed me a link to an absolutely hilarious blog (www.jadenotjaded.wordpress.com) that made me feel guilty for not blogging myself. Soooooo, here I gooooo.

I have decided that some of life's most interesting questions aren't philosophical, they're child-initiated. In the course of any given day my sons will ask me the usual things like, "Why is the sky blue?" or "Would our heads blow up in space if we didn't have a spacesuit on?" Then there are the days with questions that will be forever stamped upon my brain preventing any possibility of forgetting them. For example, the other night Austin asked me, "Mom, do you know how you can tell if a fart is really going to stink?" Not paying full attention (mistake #1), I took the bait.....,"hmmmm, how is that son?" Providing him with the necessary launching pad for sharing his most recent hypothesis, he quickly lept right in. "Welllll, if you have to work really hard to get it out....it'll be stinky for sure. But if it just sort of slips out (complete with very smooth hand gestures), you probably won't smell it at all!" And here comes mistake #2. "How did you come to this conclusion son?" (hereby fully vesting myself in this conversation). "Oh, the guys (his 7-year-old buddies) and I were talking about it at recess.

This prompted one of my famous "visions." I could so easily picture my child standing around, just like in a scene from some mobster movie, with his pals and a thick New Jersey accent. The conversation would go something like this:

Bennie: So Sal, I been thinkin'.....
Sal: Yeah Bennie, whas that?
Bennie: You know how Joey's always stinkin' it up?
Sal: Sure, sure.
Bennie: Well I bet he could warn us if he wanted to.
Joey: How'd I do that?
Bennie: I can't tell you here - people are listening.....Fuhgedaboutit!